Sunday, 2 August 2009

Worry Beads - Brain tumour ... how was it for you?

So how was/is it for me? - certainly something I didn't want or expect, and something that has changed me forever. Reading about other people's experiences on their blogs and forums really helps ... because I can see that my thoughts and fears are pretty much like everyone else's .... normalising the abnormal!!

One Brain Tumour (BT) sufferer, a lady named Lou, has written a little about depression and BT on the OzBrainTumour site - and the following list certainly ticks some of the boxes for me (in bold):

"What are some of the things that contribute to the down times with BT?"

* the physical position of the tumour itself can contribute as well as chemicals or hormones the tumour may produce

* feeling alone - no one really understands what you are going through even though loved ones and friends may try

* day to day living with symptoms that challenge your every waking moment

* everything you do is harder and takes longer

* you can't do what you used to do - your life has changed and no-one asked you

* everyone else seems to be getting on with their life and yours has come to a standstill

* you feel vulnerable, life is on shaky ground

* guilt for being a burden to loved ones and not 'pulling your weight'

* sadness - you grieve what you have lost

* you just don't feel 'normal' anymore and 'new normals' keep changing

* you can't sleep

* fatigue rules your life

* you can't work in the community anymore

* you 'look normal' so others think there is nothing wrong with you