So how was/is it for me? - certainly something I didn't want or expect, and something that has changed me forever. Reading about other people's experiences on their blogs and forums really helps ... because I can see that my thoughts and fears are pretty much like everyone else's .... normalising the abnormal!!
One Brain Tumour (BT) sufferer, a lady named Lou, has written a little about depression and BT on the OzBrainTumour site - and the following list certainly ticks some of the boxes for me (in bold):
"What are some of the things that contribute to the down times with BT?"
* the physical position of the tumour itself can contribute as well as chemicals or hormones the tumour may produce
* feeling alone - no one really understands what you are going through even though loved ones and friends may try
* day to day living with symptoms that challenge your every waking moment
* everything you do is harder and takes longer
* you can't do what you used to do - your life has changed and no-one asked you
* everyone else seems to be getting on with their life and yours has come to a standstill
* you feel vulnerable, life is on shaky ground
* guilt for being a burden to loved ones and not 'pulling your weight'
* sadness - you grieve what you have lost
* you just don't feel 'normal' anymore and 'new normals' keep changing
* you can't sleep
* fatigue rules your life
* you can't work in the community anymore
* you 'look normal' so others think there is nothing wrong with you